Lilian Carter, mother of President Jimmy Carter:
"Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself: 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' "
Eleanor Roosevelt, wife of Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
"I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' "
Comedian George Burns:
"The secrect of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible."
Comedian & Pianist Victor Borge:
"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
English Prime Minister Winston Churchill:
"Don't worry about avoiding temptation.
As you grow older, it will avoid you."
Comedian Billy Crystal:
"By the time people are old enough to 'watch their step,'
they are too old to go anywhere."
Comedian Bob Hope:
"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for a nap."
