1. How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
(Answer: Tell him your're pregnant.)
2. How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
(Answer: When you pass the mirror take off your glasses.)
3. Why should 60+ year old people use valet service?
(Answer: Valets don't forget where they park their cars.)
4. Where do 60+ year olds look for fashionable glasses?
(Answer: On their foreheads.)
5. What can a man do if his wife is going through menopause?
(Answer: Keep busy, like finishing off the basement---then you'll also have a place to live.)
6. Where can men or women over the age of 60 find young, sexy members of the opposite sex who are sexually interested in them?
(Answer: Try a bookstore under fiction.)
But don't get down, here's some "words of wisdom" from 60+ people:
> A reporter interviewing a 104-year old woman asked, "What is the best thing about being 104?" >The woman replied, "No peer pressure."
> "The nice thing about being senile," said the 90-year old lady, " is you can hide your own Easter Eggs."
> "These days," said the 90-year old man, "most of the stuff in my shopping cart says 'FOR FAST RELIEF' ."
> The Senility Prayer: "Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do and the eyesight to tell the difference."
> "My memory is not as sharp as it used to be," said the 63-year old classmate, "and my memory is not as sharp as it used to be."
> Remember: "You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing......."
No comments:
Post a Comment